So Much for the Wellies.

So I scored a whole lot of water plants again today. They are all on sale, and as Barb is keen to be rid of them all, I got them for a song. Eighteen of the, in fact. One Calla Lilly, several Cannas, some Pickerel Weed, Elephant Ear, the beautiful if grossly named Bloody Dock, Lizard Tail, and a couple of Water Lilies. There were lilies when we moved in, but once we started feeding the turtles and fish, feeding frenzies knocked everything loose and it all disappeared. This time I planted everything off to the side, away from but still well within site of our deck, so we can feed the animals and still enjoy the water garden.
As soon as I got home today I went straight to the water's edge and began unpotting the plants. I used the long staples that you would use to keep landscape fabric in place to loop through the root balls and, kneeling down, plunged my arm into the water to secure them to the bed of the pond.
Now, you have to understand that the pond grosses me out. More than I can describe, and for multiple reasons. I like to enjoy it from a distance, but due to the massive quantities of fertilizer and pesticide that I am certain wash into it every time it rains (not from us, but from our neighbors), as well as the massive amount of goose, duck, fish, turtle, and beaver shit that are surely mucking up the bottom, combined with the snakes and algae and pond scum and old metal and garbage and fish hooks that I know are just under the surface, I have no desire to touch the water ever ever ever, and in fact do not allow even the dogs to set foot in it. So I'm kneeling on the shore, screwing up my face and steeling my resolve and jamming these things into the much at the bottom, and I realize that they have to be spaced out better. Which means that I have to put some of them farther out. I stood up, and since I was wearing waterproof shoes at the time, I allowed my toes to breach the water line. Then I moved out just a little further to put the water Iris in, and well, I think you know where this is going. I finally got tired and hot and frustrated and said fuck it and waded in. My shoes were fine until my socks got soaked, at which point it all got very squishy. So I hurried and put as many plants in as I could. I figured fuck it, I'm wet and I'm not going through this again, so I ran down to the other end, far away from the house, and stuck in a few more. Then I came back, and as I was standing there trying to decide what to put in next, a heard a splash. When I turned around, there were three turtles wrestling for a freshly plucked Canna leaf.
I turned to Wyatt and sighed, and hanging my head in a not-unlike Charlie Brown fashion, trudged into the house. I removed my shoes and all of my clothes and put them immediately into the wash machine on the hot water cycle. I'm out of the shower now, beer in hand, but the rest of the plants are still littering the yard. I can't bring myself to go out there.