The other day I was trying to hurry up and water before I had to leave the B.S. Squared. We had put up a ton of plants, and they were all pretty dry, and since everything else was already done I told Barb I would handle it. I was standing in a giant row of Boston Ferns, having dragged the hose from several rows away, and I saw Middle Management Jim come outside. He stopped to talk to a customer for a minute. Apparently, he did not realize that I had seen him, because he "snuck" over to the next row and pinched the hose so that the water stopped running. It would have been funny, if I hadn't seen him and didn't know why the hose was pinched, and I could see what he was trying to do. It wasn't that I was mad at all, just that the joke failed because I knew he was there, so I leaned down, looking at him from under the hanging baskets. He was hunched down, grinning like a schoolboy, obviously hoping to "get me."
Now pause for a moment while paint you a picture:
Imagine, if you will, an underwater scene. There are small plants and sea creatures in mostly shades of blue and green, happily going about their business. Imagine a school of maybe fifty sea horses. Now imagine a whale, crouching behind these sea horses, attempting to hide from whatever a whale might attempt to hide from. Imagine that whale is wearing a brightly colored vest.
Normally I would have started laughing. In an "at" way, rather than a "with" way. But because it was MMJ, and because I have no desire to encourage him to be any less competent or any more friendly toward me, I looked at him instead and asked, very calmly
"What are you doing?"
At which point, he stood up and said awkwardly
"Uh- sorry"
and walked away.
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