I was busy. It was crowded. I was pouring a Jack and C0ke for a customer when I looked up and saw two guys squaring off about fifteen feet away from the bar. The started pushing and swinging at each other, and just as I was looking around for a door guy and getting ready to rush in, I realized that they were joking. These two guys had obviously just come in, but they were already drunk. Great.
Next thing I know, the taller of the two is pulling a can of M1ller L1te out of his pocket. Just as he starts to hand it to the other guy, I spray him with water from the soda gun. He wheels around and looks at me.
"You can't bring your own beer to a fucking bar, you douchebag!" I said, re-holstering the gun.
"Did you just spray me?"
"Yeah. Put that fucking beer back in your pocket."
They approached the bar, his hand attempting to cover the (beer) bulge in the pocket of his khakis.
"Did you just SPRAY me?" he asked, more loudly.
"Yeah. If you want a drink, you have to buy it."
"Well now it's an eye for an eye." He was reaching into his pocket.
"Motherfucker, I will throw your ass to the fucking curb if you take that out of your fucking pocket again."
They conferred with each other for a moment and then he pulled out his wallet.
"We'll have two R0lling R0cks."
I reached into the cooler, produced the beers, and opened them. As I set them on the bar, I smiled and asked "Can I get you anything else, sweetie?"
If only retail were this easy.
5 comments:
I just want you to know that I actually just laughed out loud when I read that post.
Glad you liked it. It was really funny. And quite satisfying.
You are wonderful. I laughed too.
Hey, Bartender, just found you via Z, great stuff! You ought to work in my local!
I am full of love for you. Even more than usual.
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