Lies.

So the package says "washes off easily with soap and water", and being a foolish consumer, I somehow think that this means I will be able to remove it easily in the shower before bed. I am not a big fan of makeup anyway, but it really makes a difference in a bar setting, especially when one is not blessed with much pigment and doesn't often see daylight. When I applied this new mascara, i marvelled at the way it didn't fall in clumps from the brush (When did I buy that last tube? Probably sometime in the late nineties)and onto my freshly concealered and powdered under eye area. "Hey - this stuff really works!" I thought. Very exciting.
It wasn't until hours later, standing in the shower, scrubbing at my eyes with a washcloth full of soap, that I started to lose confidence. After that I tried actual eye-makeup remover (thanks for leaving that behind, Shayne), as well as face lotion, hand lotion, and vaseline. Now, eighteen hours later, I have started scraping it off with my fingernails, one clump of lashes at a time. There is a lovely racoon-like shadow all the way around my eyes from where I have been rubbing them. It is not pretty. Thank the gods it's Sunday and I don't have to leave the house.