Appearances

Yesterday I went to a flea market/antique mall with my good friend J. J is a rather large and difficult to miss guy. He's about six and a half feet tall, long-haired, and built like a professional wrestler (which he was, for a short time). He has a propensity for wearing colorful clothing. He is also a Reverend-of sorts. He got a certificate from the church that advertises in the back of Rolling Stone magazine (a la' Chris In The Morning from Northern Exposure). He actually performed my wedding ceremony.

Anyway, I take great pleasure in shopping with J, because he likes to browse the way that I do, and his commentary is very amusing and often very audible. Case in point: In the middle of the antique mall, in an area where several other shoppers were browsing, he held up a plaque excitedly.

"This makes me happy on so many levels," he said.

The plaque read:

If you're to busy to pray you're to busy.

And J said, rather loudly: "If you're too busy to pray, you should learn how to fucking spell."

I laughed. He laughed. People looked at us like we had just shit in the middle of the aisle.

As I was checking out, J was hovering nearby perusing some jewelery and other accessories in a glass case. I thanked the woman who owns the shop (who had not even heard his earlier outburst, because we were in another room) profusely, and turned to leave. Still smiling from ear to ear (I love a bargain and my junk habit is easily satisfied in this particular establishment) I said

"Are you ready, Reverend?"

"Indeed I am," replied J, who then turned to the proprietress and said cheerfully and without irony "Have a wonderful day. And God bless!"

I think she may have lifted her jaw from the floor in time for church today, but I can't be certain.