West Coast Karen got her review.
"The way they do these is just- is just- ...archaic" she fumed when she returned from the meeting. "I just don't agree with it."
"What do you mean?" I asked, stupidly inviting her to continue the discussion.
"It's just so corporate. I mean, I don't want to write my own evaluation. Like, dude, if you need me to do something differently, then you need to tell me."
At this point she finally donned a glove and resumed helping me cut cheese.
"What did he say?" I blundered on, wishing like hell I would just shut up. And then I stopped to give her direction on the cheese she was cutting. "Wait. Okay, so cut this organic cheddar down the middle, and then I'll wrap one half wand you can cut the other half into smaller pieces."
She was nodding the whole time, but I could tell she wasn't listening, so I said
"Got it?"
"Yes. Wait. No. What?" she answered, her rage momentarily losing steam.
"Finish the one you're doing. Then this one" - I picked up the chunk of organic aged cheddar, and drew a line with my gloved hand - "you should cut down the middle here. I will wrap one half and you can cut the other half into small pieces."
She repeated my directions back to me, and we resumed while she continued her rant.

"So I got all good scores on everything, but then in the part that says 'areas that need improvement' (she made bunny ears with her gloved hand) it says that I need to focus and that my personal life sometimes interferes with my work. I swear to god I feel like I work at W@l-Mart or something. I have had customers tell me that the only reason why they shop at the Local Grocery is because of the service I give. It's because I talk to them and make them feel important and I know them like friends. And I'm like dud, I know what the job is, okay? And I do my job. If you have a problem with the job that I do, then I need you to be more specific."
"Did you just cut that whole block of cheddar into small pieces?"
"Yes I did."