Wednesday, March 31, 2010

"In nature, the momma bird and the daddy bird never leave the nest at the same time. One of them goes out to hunt while the other one stays in the nest with the baby bird."

This remark from Sven follows the crashing to the cement floor of a third bottle of wine. The hapless father looks up at us as if to say

"Who knew that if I let my toddler roam around by itself in a giant stack of glass that something might break?"

We both put our heads down and continue cutting cheese while a couple other people scramble to clean up the mess.

"I just don't understand why they both have to shop."

This sentence is nearly drowned out by the sudden shrieking meltdown of yet another small child, this time at the coffee bar. there is a distinct doppler effect as it's mother drags it back and forth through produce and the deli department. Co-workers scatter like cockroaches in the light, everyone making for the kitchen and stocking areas out back. Ahhh... the joys of retail.

2 comments:

Z said...

Shops selling glasses and suchlike used to have signs up explaining that if you broke it, you bought it. More polite and less abrupt, but a clear message.

Just today, both my son-in-law and daughter wanted to shop for separate things. They went separately, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, because shopping with a toddler is both stressful and risky.

I used to go shopping with mine, but they were under control. Mind you, they all handled antique china from the age of 2, they knew what's what.

Am I sounding like a bad-tempered old bag? Oh, fair enough.

heybartender said...

I think I'm the bad-tempered old bag. My boss Barbara told me the other day that she has seen a comedienne do a bit about how she used to glare at people with out-of-control children but now that she has her own she has a different perspective. I immediately thought of a video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJRzBpFjJS8) I saw recently. Sorry, but I don't feel like I need "perspective." I need people to be responsible for their damned kids.
Oops- sorry. Ranty.