Dear Neighbor:
I just wanted to tell how happy I am that your yard looks absolutely lovely. It seems that all of the sacrifices everyone else is making have really paid off.I'm glad that I have been turning off the shower while I soap up and watering my plants with used dishwater for three months so that you could run your fucking sprinkler in the middle of the night, soaking your whole front yard and half of the street, without guilt. Never mind that river running down the curb. Never mind that we're struggling to have enough water to keep everyone's toilets flushing. Sacrifice is for poor people, right? I mean, what the fuck? Anyway, thanks. I think my faith in fellow humans was just starting to return. That's not really convenient in the middle of football season. And hey- nice magnolias.
I hope your house burns down,
HB
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