Next time a doctor says "This might sting a little", I'm busting out a belt of whiskey and a wooden spoon. This shit seriously sucks.
I wound up getting ready for house guests last night after all. They didn't make it, but the bed will now be made up when T gets here on Sunday or Monday, so that's okay. Sleeping was ridiculous and uncomfortable. I feel like an idiot because I can't do very much for myself, and the b.h. has been waiting on me all day. The only thing I've been taking is ibuprofen, and I think it might be time to switch to beer. I had to go to work for a couple hours today, and I left the house wearing one shoe and one slipper. By the time I got down there my foot was so swollen that I had to take the slipper off. I wound up sticking duct tape to the heel of my sock so I could walk on it and not destroy my sock.
Fuck.
4 comments:
Beer? Blimey, darling, at the least that needs whisky. Whatever that man charged you is way too much. You know, much as we all complain about it over here, there are times when I vastly appreciate the British NHS.
I'm so sorry for laughing when I read about the duct tape.
He only charged me twenty bucks, which is an absolute bargain. Still, I couldn't help but feel, as I hobbled to my car fighting back tears, that paying some one to cause you that much pain seems odd.
Oh and the duct tape? Hilarious, so no fears about laughing at it. You should see the "shoe" I have now fashioned from an old slipper and a flip-flop that I Frankensteined to fit around the giant growth. We have a saying here in the States: "If you can't duck (as in duck tape) it, fuck it." Words that I live by.
Even funnier is that two separate people have told me that had I simply put duck tape on the wart itself, it would have gone away. Apparently there are instructions for this on WebMD.
dude, i had 34 plantar's warts on one of my feet, and i had 12 on the other, and i have tried and tried to explain to people the exquisite searing pain that comes from having the bottom of your foot first frozen, and then set to thaw. it is a remarkable thing, especially the drive home from the doctor's office. then there's the healing. that's also very special.
but the worst, the absolute bitch of the bunch, is when you go back for the check up and they tell you they haven't gotten it all and will need to put your foot into cryogenic dry-dock again.
i hate god.
xo
If I have to go back there had better be a lot of drugs. I have been relying strictly on ibuprofen and beer this time around. Not nearly enough.
I can't believe that you not only had that many warts, but that you somehow had room for all of them, and that you managed to walk at all. Ugh.
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