Warning!

This is not a post you should view very closely if you have a weak stomach. I have been describing the bottom of my foot as having it's own Halloween costume this week, and a few people said they want to see it. In a way, you kind of have to see it to believe it, so if you scroll down you'll get both the front and side views. it looks like my foot grew an eyeball. For those of you who are not inclined to look at other people's revolting injuries, here's a picture of where I've been for the last few days:



The pillow in the middle there marks the spot. The dogs have been fiercely snuggly in their efforts to make me feel better.
It's working.

The morbidly curious can continue to page down.






Eyeball?





Or Breast?

Funny Ha Ha.

I was just wandering about and I ran across a hilarious post over at Chunklet. It was sent to Henry via a friend of his and I just couldn't help reprinting it here. I don't think he'll mind.

"I started this game on a flight from Orlando to NYC a few years ago after seeing at the Hard Rock Hotel Orlando a menu item called Steven Tyler Quesadillas. I was afraid to tell Nick across from me on the flight what I was laughing so hard about cause it was so stupid but once I did it spread through the band and crew like wildfire and for days i was taking notes from everyone and even getting middle of the night texts... a new one comes in now and again still.

(Editor's Note: I've only included the first 20 or so he typed for sanity's sake)
Crooked Chicken Fingers
Frank Blackened Catfish
Sole Asylum (alternate: Sole Coughing)
Husker Stew
Kyle Mignon
Gang of Four Cheese Pizza
I Love You But I've Chosen Prawns
Nine inch Snails
Catherine Cheesewheel
Cornish Game Hendrix
Death Crab for Cutie
Superchunk Chocolate Cake
Teenage Fanclub Sandwich
Hot Not Meat (veggie menu)
Soundgarden Burger
Fleetwood Mac and Cheese
Shrimpbizkit
Stew Order
...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Breadsticks
The Afghan Wings
Rites of Spring Rolls
Archers of Meatloaf
Pjork with the Gravery"

Okay.....Go forth and make me a menu, dammit!


This is the music lover's version of the game we played awhile back where you replace one word of a movie title with the word vagina (hat tip to Chris for bringing that to our workplace). The winner of that was Sean, for Arsenic and Old Vagina. I can't decide which of these menu items is my favorite, but I suspect the b.h. and I will be playing this game quite a bit.

I'm a Little Grumpy.

Next time a doctor says "This might sting a little", I'm busting out a belt of whiskey and a wooden spoon. This shit seriously sucks.
I wound up getting ready for house guests last night after all. They didn't make it, but the bed will now be made up when T gets here on Sunday or Monday, so that's okay. Sleeping was ridiculous and uncomfortable. I feel like an idiot because I can't do very much for myself, and the b.h. has been waiting on me all day. The only thing I've been taking is ibuprofen, and I think it might be time to switch to beer. I had to go to work for a couple hours today, and I left the house wearing one shoe and one slipper. By the time I got down there my foot was so swollen that I had to take the slipper off. I wound up sticking duct tape to the heel of my sock so I could walk on it and not destroy my sock.
Fuck.

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.

The Hold Steady was fantastic. The b.h. and I both got to go, all of the kids are out of town for that stupid football game, and parking was a snap. Several of our friends were there, as well as a couple hundred other people with excellent taste. Art Brut opened, and they were also quite fun. After the show we went to an after party. We stayed out until almost 5am- highly unusual for us. So I went to bed around five thirty, and had to get up at 8:15 to go to the doctor. No big deal really- or so I thought. It was just a plantar's wart, and I thought he'd give me a topical something-or-other and send me on my way. No such luck. Instead I wound up getting it frozen with liquid nitrogen. It felt like somebody set me on fire. I managed to pay (very little, bless the man, despite not having insurance) and get out to the car before I started to cry. I never, ever cry from physical pain, but this was unusually bad. When I got back to the house I took three ibuprofen and crawled back into bed and couldn't sleep. I came down to the couch to watch TV. The dogs followed me down to try and comfort me. It worked, for a little while. The rest of the day has been pretty uncomfortable, but there have been no more tears.
We went to see some friends play at the Caledonia early tonight. Low Red Land is from San Francisco and they tour a lot and we see them a few times a year. They sounded great tonight. They may be coming here to stay tonight, so when they finished playing I came home to straighten up. Now I'm on the couch watching bad TV (DVD, actually- Desperate Housewives Season Two) and waiting for the b.h. to call and tell me whether or not we're having guests. If we are, I'll get the dogs in and make up the guest bed. If not I'm cracking a beer and getting in the shower.

This is what Eleven Pounds of Olives Looks Like.

The box is about the size of two shoe boxes- or one box with a really big guy's boots. The first step is washing and cracking them:




The one in this photo got more cracked than necessary, as I was not very practiced just yet. The idea is to break them open very slightly, after which they are soaked in water, which gets changed twice a day for five days. This apparently leeches out the bitterness. We now have a two and a half gallon bucket that is full to the brim. We are choosing the water method of curing, rather than using lye. It just sounds less scary- you know, first time out and all. There's something about mixing drain cleaner and food that I have a hard time with. Next step (and next photos) in a few days.

In the meantime, here are a couple long overdue shots of the Blue Mountain show at Tasty World two weeks ago:



Something about Frank's drum kit just says "Fellow Traveler" to me:

Saw Dave Marr and Holly Golightly at Tasty World last night. Dave sounded great. I wish he would play more. Holly was cool. I had no idea what to expect, but she was recommended to me by several friends, so we gave it a shot. We didn't stay late because we were both tired.
It has been raining for a day and a half, which is great. it is supposed to rain for the rest of the week. Of course, that didn't stop the idiots at the office complex in our neighborhood from running their sprinkler system. I called the water department and they said that the complex in question is on a well, and they are allowed to do whatever they want. Hmmm. I guess I know where I'm going to steal my water from when ours dries up.
In other news, Kilgore just got back from the vet. He is happy and healthy, if a bit wider than necessary. Now that the temperature has fallen below a hundred degrees I guess we can start walking again.

Two days until The Hold Steady. Yay.

I was called in to work on Friday afternoon because the bartender was having some technical difficulties. It took just a couple of minutes to diagnose the problem, but I was glad that she had called me because as it turned out several friends were there that I hadn't seen in quite some time. G and F are regular customers. They used to be my regular customers for awhile, back when I did Friday happy hour. Now we see each other very seldom, since like most of my friends they have day jobs and therefore schedules that do not coincide with mine.

While I was speaking to them, my friend R came in. She has just gotten married the week prior, so I got to hear about her wedding, warts and all. I had an excellent time at my wedding, and overall I am happy that the b.h. and I chose to be somewhat traditional and include our families and whatnot, but next time (when we spontaneously renew our vows silly, not next husband) we're totally going to elope. That's what my other friends did, and by all accounts it was a great decision and an excellent time. Anyway, it was great to see R. She and I met when she was a regular customer of mine, and she also has a schedule that prohibits late night, weeknight socializing. We caught up and I had a nice chat with her husband and met some of their friends.

Also during this time, three guys wandered in that were on a day off from touring with a band from Columbus, Ohio. I spent a lot of time in Columbus several years back with an old boyfriend, and we spent some time talking about bands and clubs and friends that we have in common. I recommended a restaurant for them and put them on the guest list for Friday night's show.

My cell phone went off. It was my friend K calling from New York. She is up there apartment hunting. She'll be moving in less than two weeks, and she called to tell me that things are going very well and she found a place and there were exciting developments with her new job. I am so thrilled for her. Words truly cannot express. I chatted with her for a few minutes, said congratulations, wished her a safe trip home, and then turned to say goodbye to everyone at the bar. I had just enough time to get home and walk the dogs and feed them and feed myself before turning around and coming back to work. It was only when I got in my car that I realized how much K's move is going to affect me. I don't have a lot of female friends anyway, and I know that women always say that, and that they act like it doesn't matter, but it does. K is the only woman (hell she's almost the only person) I know and enjoy being around for long periods of time that is even remotely on my schedule. I'm afraid I may have to start trolling local bars for women.
Fuck.

Olives.

Last weekend the b.h. and I took a rare Saturday night off and went out to dinner- you know, like grownups. We ate at The N@tional, a new local restaurant, for the first time. When we walked in,we immediately saw He Who Must Not Be Named (and no, I don't mean Dan Horowitz)

with a table full of friends having dinner. Wilco was drifting over the stereo system. The bartender greeted us with "Hey, I finally get to wait on you guys for a change." Ah, Athens.
I love the way the restaurant is decorated- very simple, classy but not over-done. They had small potted thyme plants on the tables, which i think is brilliant. The lighting is low and the seats comfortable, and I was more relaxed than I had been in a long time. The wine was exceptional, the food was fantastic, and after the manchego cheese and celery stuffed dates with smoked paprika (but before the roasted red pepper and tomato soup), as we dug into a small bowl of olives marinated in garlic and citrus, we remembered that Alt0n Brown had a link to a website where you can order fresh olives.
We came home and ordered some. And all eleven pounds arrived in the mail a couple days ago. So today, we begin the curing process. In ten days we will begin the actual flavoring process, so if anybody has suggestions, feel free to bring them on. I know that garlic and citrus is first on the list. We're hoping they work well so we can give them as Christmas gifts. (On the other hand, if they're half as good as the ones we had at the restaurant, we may decide to keep them for ourselves. No more fresh green olives until next September, after all.)
I also made a pie this week. Graham cracker crust with sour cream filling, topped with raspberries. This weather just puts me in a cooking mood.
Hoping to get back to Ellijay in the next couple of weeks for the annual J & J apple and pumpkin purchase. Man I love the fall.

Skirts Alert

Last night I caught Modern Skirts at The Georgia Theater. They sounded fantastic. They have come such a long way since their first shows years ago, and I really think they are headed for Big Things. As it turns out, they are also headed for the U.K. Like, today. They are playing more than a show a day for the entire trip, in hopes that somebody at a record label over there might have more brains than the guys on this side of the proverbial pond. I would think they'd have to. Anyway, if you happen to be in the area, here is their schedule:

Oct 20, 2007
Manchester, Lancashire, United Kingdom
@ Catch In The City Festival 2007 @ THE DRY BAR
28 Oldham Street [MAP]
Vmanevents, Designer Magazine & Speechless With Sound presents....Modern Skirts at 6:45pm sharp (NEW TIME) at the downstairs stage at THE DRY BAR

Oct 21, 2007
Manchester, United Kingdom
@ TRIANGLE SHOPPING CENTER in EXCHANGE SQUARE
Triangle Shopping Centre is conveniently situated by the Millennium gardens in between Victoria train station, the Arndale centre and Exchange Square [MAP]
All ages free show!
Modern Skirts to perform at 2pm sharp

Oct 22, 2007
Manchester, United Kingdom
@ IN THE CITY showcase @ THE MUSIC BOX
65 Oxford Street [MAP]
Modern Skirts official International showcase at IN THE CITY music conference at 10:45pm sharp
For more info on the show or directions visit the venue website at www.themusicbox.info or www.inthecity.co.uk

Oct 23, 2007
Bacup, United Kingdom
@ Bacup Borough Football Club
Cowtoot Lane, Lancashire [MAP]
£3.00 at the door
Doors at 8pm
Visit www.myspace.com/hairydogpromotions for more info on this show

Oct 24, 2007
Stockport, United Kingdom
@ Blue Cat Cafe
17 Shaw Road [MAP]
All ages free show in Stockport, UK!
Modern Skirts to perform at 9:30pm sharp
For more info visit the venue website at myspace.com/bluecatmusic

Oct 25, 2007
Coventry, West Midlands, United Kingdom
@ City College Coventry Synergy FM show
Swanswell Centre, 50 Swanswell Street [MAP]
Free to students and public!
Taping a live performance and interview from 1-2pm for the City College’s college station SYNERGY FM 102.6
Visit www.synergyfm.com for station info

Oct 25, 2007
Coventry, United Kingdom
@ The Albany
24 Albany Road, Earlsdon [MAP]
Performing with the Sequins
For more info call the venue at 024 7667 3032

Oct 26, 2007
w/ R.E.M. Stipe
Ilminster, United Kingdom
@ Square & Compass Pub
Windmill Hill, Ashill [MAP]
£10 at the door or in advance from the venue
18 & up show
Performing with the R.E.M. tribute band STIPE

Oct 27, 2007
Kent, United Kingdom
@ The Lower Bell
201 Chatham Road, Blue Bell Hill, Aylesford [MAP]
JUST ADDED!!
Performing from 9-11pm

Oct 28, 2007
w/ Gamages Model Train Club, Gold Heart Assembly, The Cedars
London, United Kingdom
@ Jealous of the Daylight presents...at Covent Rock Garden on The Piazza
6/7 The Piazza, Covent Garden [MAP]
£7 at the door OR £5 with this flyer
Music from 2:30pm-7pm
Modern Skirts on at 5pm sharp

I heard that Mike Mills referred to them as his favorite new band in an interview over there, so I hope some people show up.

Thanks, Asshole.

Dear Neighbor:
I just wanted to tell how happy I am that your yard looks absolutely lovely. It seems that all of the sacrifices everyone else is making have really paid off.I'm glad that I have been turning off the shower while I soap up and watering my plants with used dishwater for three months so that you could run your fucking sprinkler in the middle of the night, soaking your whole front yard and half of the street, without guilt. Never mind that river running down the curb. Never mind that we're struggling to have enough water to keep everyone's toilets flushing. Sacrifice is for poor people, right? I mean, what the fuck? Anyway, thanks. I think my faith in fellow humans was just starting to return. That's not really convenient in the middle of football season. And hey- nice magnolias.
I hope your house burns down,
HB

Still Here.

I have been away far too long. I can't help it. I just haven't felt much like writing.
We got our friend out of jail a week ago. He's doing fine. The dogs are quite happy to see him, despite having been spoiled nearly rotten by the b.h. and myself for the past two months. They missed their dad.
My parents sent us pizza from home for our anniversary. Unless you are from a place where there is excellent pizza (like Chicago or New York) and you live in a place where D0min0s* is considered pizza, you probably don't understand how very exciting that is. It's amazing. I had the oven preheating before the UPS man even left the driveway.
My friend K and I went to see the adaptation of Raiders of the Lost Ark last week at Cine'. It was hilarious. It took the guys who made it something like five years to make, and since they were young teenagers when they started, they change a lot in the course of the filming. But they really did a great job. Shot by shot, line by line, using what I can only assume was somebody's parents' home video camera. It was inspiring. I recommend it. Work has been okay. There have been several good shows already this month, with more on the horizon.
Wow this is a boring post. Sorry.




*I don't even know how to spell it because that "pizza" was a sacrilege in my family.

Dire.

That's the only word to describe our water situation. According to local officials, we have around five weeks' worth of water left in our reservoir. I can't remember it ever being this bad before. There is an outright ban on watering outdoors. I gave up on my flower garden months ago when i realized that it just wasn't practical to waste water on it. Kept watering the tomatoes and peppers as long as I was allowed, though. And they seem to be hanging on despite not having been watered recently. It keeps looking like it might want to rain and not quite getting there. Very discouraging. It makes me wonder how much water we would save by canceling the rest of the home football games. I assume that not having an extra 100 thousand people in town for three more weekends might help our situation. It certainly couldn't hurt. But don't let my boss hear me say that.
Last night, we came home from the utterly fabulous Okkervil River show at the 40 Watt to find that the sprinklers were on in the office complex behind us. It had been cloudy all day, and there was rain predicted for today, and we've been on a watering ban for quite some time now. But there they were, at least two sprinklers, spraying with all their might. Made me wonder how often this happens. We're usually not home yet at 2am, and I would think that most of the folks in this neighborhood are long since sleeping by then. I called and reported them, but what I really want to do is find the people responsible and beat them. Seriously. Our local government is trying to figure out how to keep the waste water treatment plants working with such low water levels and some asshole is fucking watering the GRASS. Ugh. Stupid.

In other news, Okkervil River still kicks ass. I heard a guy remark last night that he had been made gayer by watching their set- I can only assume he meant that he was in love with the band, but I'm not sure. All I know is that a night off and an excellent rock show were exactly what I needed. Now I want to move to Austin so I can see them more often. I actually recorded a song on my camera, but since the quality sucks I will refrain from posting it here.
Instead, here's a photo:



This was taken during a break in the set where somebody had to change Will's string. I guess he can't change his own string on account of being blind as a bat and without glasses on stage. So he played a song on the keyboard instead. It was great. They played almost everything I wanted to hear. A.J. was in town for the show. It was great to see him and we actually got to talk for a bit- not over the bar, but actual face-to-face adult conversation. Amazing. I will have to try to do that more often.

My friend T is rapidly approaching total insanity due to his job, and may move down here soon. That would be great. K is leaving for New York in just a couple weeks, and I haven't quite figured out how I am going to manage without her.