"I'm thirsty. I'm Thirsty. Moooom, I am sooooooo thirsty!"
The child was thirsty. He was sitting in a shopping cart about 100 feet from where I was working, and about fifty feet from the water fountain, from which his mother could easily draw him a free cup of water, were she not an idiot.
This went on for about ten minutes, after which I assume she finally broke out of her haze and hydrated him. Next thing I know, they are ten feet away, and he is crabbing again. Now, I realize that this is not the kid's fault, because he's about six, and it is past dinner time and probably nearing bedtime, and his mother is taking forfuckingever to grocery shop. I continue to ignore them as best I can, and then I look up and find the child, without his mother, rummaging in the cheese display. Before I can say or do anything, she meanders over, gazing stupidly at both the child and the cheese.
"Yes, that's cheese. But I can't have this so let's go back over there."
"But look at this-"
"I know honey, but mommy can't have cheese, so let's-"
She is interrupted by a loud pop, similar to the sound a Christmas Cracker makes.
"I didn't do anything. I don't know how that happened," said the child, looking up at his mother with absolute innocence.
"I know you didn't honey. Let's give that to the lady." She hands me what used to be a package of local herbed goat cheese.
"I didn't do anything. I don't know what happened!"
"I know honey. It's not your fault."
And she was right, in a way.