Friday, August 08, 2008

Only to the Guy He's Fucking, I Guess.

So this woman comes in, and she chooses a very expensive bottle of scotch. Next she picks out a mid-grade bottle of chardonnay, and as she is wandering about, I ask if she needs any help. She proceeds to tell me that she is looking for "something nice for a fifty-seven-year-old." I ask a few questions, she gives me more information than I need. It's his birthday, she's already throwing him the dinner, she doesn't want to spend a lot, because she has already pt out x dollars, but she doesn't want him "to think I'm cheap". She definitely doesn't want to spend more than fifty dollars. Not even thirty-five. I am only finding this out because I am walking around with her, making suggestions, and asking questions. She is clearly not comfortable. I tell her not to worry about the price.
"As long as you aren't buying a three-dollar bottle of pink stuff, I don't think it matters. It's a gift, after all, and it's the thought that counts. What about some sparkling wine? That's always nice for a celebration." She seems to think this is a lovely idea. Is he a wine snob? Does he normally drink dry or sweet? White or red? She doesn't seem to know.
"I don't know if it matters," she says to me in an undertone, looking around to make sure no one else is listening, "but he's gay."

I gave her a bottle with a frog in a dress on the label.

2 comments:

Z said...

You are a rascal at heart, aren't you?

heybartender said...

Indeed. I wish i had a picture of the look on my face when she said it, because she immediately followed with "Of course it doesn't." But I decided that I need to have a "go to" for all occasions.
"Trans-gender bat mitzvah? Oh, you simply MUST take this Priorat."