This one is pretty common, actually, and would hardly land her in a blog post if I had had any trouble or anything interesting to say about work this week. But I didn't, so I'm using it. This may not make sense to non-bar types, but trust me when I tell you that it drives us all crazy, and it happens all the time.
My first customer of the night. Youngish woman, maybe twenty-five, walks up to the bar. She has obviously already been drinking, but is not wasted. She has a somewhat goofy grin on her face.
Me: Hi- what can I get for you?
Her: I want a Jag- I want a STRONG Jager bomb.
Me: Okay.
I pour the shot. And, because she made a point of telling me she wanted it strong, I actually measured exactly one shot of Jager into the glass. Usually I free pour, and there is a much better chance that you will get more liquor on a free pour, but since she was obviously expecting something "extra" for free, I was making absolutely sure that she was getting exactly one and a half ounces. This sounds passive-aggressive, I know, but this kind of request is totally stupid, and as I said, it happens all the time. (You want me to steal form my boss so you can get drunk on less money? And we've never met? Sure! I'll get right on that!)
So I bring her the drink, set it in front of her, and reach for the money she is handing me. As I grasp her money in my hand, she jerks it back and says
"Wait- is it strong?"
And rather than drinking it myself (eew) and telling her to go fuck herself (which any bartender will tell you that I would have been totally justified in doing), I smiled politely and said
"I guarantee you that there is a whole shot of Jager in there."
Idiot.
3 comments:
I really hate that. Make it strong? Sure! How about a little bit of 151 down your straw and then I'll underpour the rest of your drink.
I usually just tell them I'll make it right, but that's it unless they want to cough up extra money.
And don't forget the second most common demand from drunk customers after they say they want it strong.
"Make it good!"
Usually I tell them they need to go order from the next bartender instead of me because I only serve shitty drinks on my end of the bar.
As a drinker, I gotta admit I have made this mistake before. I've since learned that pity gets me the strongest shots. A trembling lip, a tear in the eye and a look on my face that plainly says dog died/boyfriend left/just bled through my favorite jeans, and most bartenders get generous. Of course, that was before, when I was willing to work hard to save a couple of bucks. Now I just buy two shots at once if I am dead-set on a hard drunk. Works!
Jenn, I have waited on you many a time. You are the picture of a perfect customer, even when you're hammered.
There's a difference between announcing your intentions ("Keep 'em coming, I've had a long day" style), and trying to get something for nothing. "Make it a double" is acceptable. "Give me extra for free and I'll give you a good tip" is not.
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