This particular Customer of the week may, in another six weeks, end up with the Customer of the Year award.
On my voicemail at work on Thursday morning:
"Hi, this is Marty suchandsuch. I want to order a case if wine. 802-223- xxxx."

That's it. No indication of what kind of wine she wants. So I call her back and leave a message for her, saying that I had gotten her message and if she could please let me know what kind of wine she wanted, I would be happy to order it for her. I do not hear from her again until Tuesday, when I return to work after my weekend.

"I want to order a case of Phillip Lehman Barossa."

This is not a product that I carry. I do have Peter Lehman of Barossa, and there are three different kinds of wine. I leave a message to this effect. Shiraz, Cabernet Sauvignon, or the Blend?

On Thursday, I am paged to the phone.
"Hi, this is heybartender, how can I help you?"
An irritable voice blurts "I've been trying to order a case of wine?!"
To which I respond "Ah yes, you must be Martha. Which wine would you like?"
She repeats the incorrect name. I patiently tell her that I got that message and that there is no such wine, but that I had left her a message and there are three, etc etc. So which one?
"I don't know."
"Okay, well, how about I have a look at the bottles and see if we can figure it out?" I put her on hold, go to the sales floor, and return to the phone and describe the pictures on the label to her. She wants the Cab.

"Great. It should be here on Friday. I'll give you a call when it arrives."

On Friday, I dial her number.

"Hello?" Her tone is accusing.

"Can I speak to Martha?

"You know, I'm painting a bathroom here!!" she screams - literally, screams, and slams the phone down.

I hope silently that she falls in her bathroom and dies of thirst, alone, on the floor.